Me Expressing I Need Change Now
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|Posted on March 17, 2016 at 3:31 PM|
Cycles of Life – Child Abuse
If you are a parent, then you will understand exactly what I am discussing in the next few sentences. Your day at work has been stressful and all you really want is a few seconds of down time before interacting with your child. Those precious seconds of downtime are not given to you, your anger builds, and …….. So of all the options available to you, you hit your child! Whether it was malicious or not, you still made physical contact.
The question is why did you choose to hit your child, is it because you do not have the capacity to communicate properly? Why did you choose to hit? I know when I was in this situation as a young parent the only answer I knew was to hit. It was what had been done to me, so I did the same to my child, there was no gray area. Attack, dominate, inflict pain and fear was my methodology. Why did I opt for this type of discipline? Simply because it was the only thing I knew how to do.
My answer? It’s my story. I was reared by an abusive stepfather, beaten at the age of three for peeing on him by accident. I was removed from this home and temporarily placed in the foster care system. My step father spent time in jail, rehabbed, and I was subsequently placed back into this home. Nothing changed, the abuse continued. Sometimes I would be hit for just looking at my stepfather in the wrong way, even crying when I was hurt was enough to trigger a reaction.
I ran away at the age of sixteen and again ended up in the foster system. I grew up in this system and became a father at a very young age. My life took a turn for the worse. I became a monster at times, in one instance I lost control and threw my stepdaughter across the room into the wall. What???? Really???, this could not be me. I decided to seek treatment. I wanted and needed this monster to go away.
It did not take my doctor very long to make a diagnosis, I was a child abuser. My stepfather had influenced my personal traits as a human being. This diagnosis was incredibly painful to hear but necessary. Flashbacks continue to haunt me, a constant reminder to keep control of my emotions.
Do you see the cycle? Have you ever gone past that line? The line where discipline becomes abuse. The good news for me and for you is that through professional intervention we can change. I changed, and so can you, let’s stop this cycle. Here’s how: www.Me.Inc.Now.
Categories: child abuse, life cycles